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Laugh_Breathe_Live
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Name: Rebecca
Gender: Female
Interests: The whole wide world
Expertise: Science, Literature and English, and Mythology
Message: message me
Member Since:
7/24/2006
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| In five minutes God managed to wipe away all my doubts and fears, about myself, about Him, about my future, past, and present. I wasn't expecting it. I thought that surely, if he ever spoke to me it would be a reprimand, or admonition - I never would have expected what He actually said. . .even though it was what I wanted Him to say more than anything, I never would have been so bold as to expect it. He knew. . .He knew it was what I had been longing my whole life to hear. . .and . . .I wish I could just type it out on here, be brave, but I'm all a muddle. I want to shout it from the rooftops, and yet at the same time I want to hold it secret, close to my heart, more precious than any love letter. He didn't need 12 hours, he burnt my emotions through so quickly, so quietly. I still cry thinking about it. I am full of more quiet joy than I have ever experienced or could ever imagine.
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| Oh no. No. No Becca, don't. You said you weren't going to look at YWAM. You odn't really care for it - you know you don't. I don't care what your mom said about your doubtful attendance to Master's Commission - you said you wouldn't . . .You looked. Dangit, Becca, why did you look? I know you're becoming apathetic about the whole thing but - NO DON'T TYPE THAT IN. . . .What am I going to do with you? You know there's a base in Israel so of COURSE you have to look it up. . .and of COURSE it has to be the one that catches your eye. . .and of course. Murphey really hates you doesn't he? Yeah, see the outreach areas? Read them Becca, read. Gaza. West Bank. Your parents will flip. Don't you dare consider it. Too dangerous. . . .I don't care if the base is in Jerusalem. I don't care. No, your ideas and convictions are stupid - no one else thinks that way. No, don't you dare-! . . .Dammit Becca. You're incorrigible.
I hate myself sometimes. ^^
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| Lifelong Fling by Over The Rhine
The moon blind-sided the sky again
As we grabbed loose ends of the tide and then
The slippery slide
You know I can't say when
I ever took a ride that could slap me this silly
With roiling joy
Lazy as sin
Lyin' up in heaven with my special friend
And the space he's in
It can make a girl grin
In the beginning of a lifelong fling
I wrote down a dream
Folded the note
Slipped it in the pocket of my tattered coat
I wrote down a dream
In invisible ink
It never was mine I'm beginning to think
I wrote down a dream
What more could I do
I drew myself a picture and the picture was you
I wrote myself a riddle
I said, What I wouldn't do
To give something good
To a love like you
I wrote down a dream
Folded the note
Passed it to you we stepped in our boat
Sailed 'round the world
We were hoping to find
More than the sum of all we left behind
I wrote down a dream
But what was it now
And why does it feel so distant somehow
Did I take too long
Did I get it wrong
You're still the missing line in my favorite song
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| Life is perfect, and life if full of flaws. Back to back. Happiness and sadness. Peace and anxiety. I'm in a whirlwind that for once isn't made of hormones, and I'm craving peace and catharsis - release. I want life quiet again - or at least free of worry and stress and fear. I don't want to worry so much. It's tugging at me, making me exhausted, mean - not myself. I hate this. I want it to stop, and yet I also know that if I make it, I'll have learned something. I'm just tired of feeling like I'm being worn away though.
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| I'm so excited - The ocean awaits me on sunday! I keep remembering last year when that guy who played the bagpipes was there, an I sat on the edge of the shore staring at the moon while he played, and then he happened to play one of my favorite songs. . .So close to perfect. . .Perhaps it even was. So, I 'm happy. I get to swim in the ocean and star at it's changing face and stay out at night and watch the moon on the water and the stars up above. . .and goofing off with the family's a bonus as well.
Well, last year I came on periodically, but that won't be happening this year - I'm doing a media fast while I'm there. family movies and music are excluded, as is using my stone age laptop. Just the internet and TV basically. So, I'll see you in a week!
Oh yeah, i can't believe it's already been a year since I went to Mexico! I miss it. . .
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